Quite simply, a pail of honest London
tapwater – with nowt of its
constituent goodness taken out. That means lots of chlorine, a smidgeon
of faecal sediment...and, of course billions of covalently-bonded
hydrogen and oxygen atoms. If you’re lucky, there may also be tiny
microscopic proto-fish, or even a bit of that dolphin they saw once. Of
course, in some ways, it’s already secondhand: it’s been proved that
all the capital’s tap water has passed through at least seven bladders.
But we digress: for any lily-livered, Evian-drenched foreign surrender
monkey, this is a perfect opportunity to sample some real water... just
like Mom used to drink.